And with things I mean things, objects. No X-files favorite conspiracy “government has held the existence of aliens’ secret since Roswell” or “9/11 was an American plot” or Dan Brown “Vatican/Jesus/Founding Fathers” stuff.
I mean the table that moves ever so slightly when you get close to it and greets your toe with delight.
I mean the computer that offers you DELETE when you’re trying to RENAME. And oops, you just deleted all the files you have been working on for the last two weeks.
I mean the spoon that jumps out of your hand and races under the table, where, when you try to reach it, the chair inches close to you and bumps you on the head.
And the shirt, that just won’t let you put your arms into the sleeves – instead it dances around your body evading your grasping hands until it gets caught in your hair and gets stuck there.
Nothing is a gratifying and at the same time frustrating than getting aggressive on that door frame that just hit your shoulder. Oh when you get to hit is so hard – that feel so great. That’ll teach it!!
But at the same time.. you know hitting it won’t change a thing. As soon as you turn your back, it’s back there, lurking.
I just wonder: what do they want? What’s their end-game? Simply to annoy us, get us lose our temper.. and then what?
Do they plan things ahead? Like “today well all act up, yesterday we didn’t do anything, so let’s make it a good one this time!” Or maybe “you, battery, start by dying, you screen, go blank, you carpet, trip them and you pine needle that has been under the carpet for a month, stick to the pinky toe”.
I suppose I could burn the damn table, hack that pine needle into million pieces or throw the spoon in the trash, but that won’t help: the next generation of things has been taught well. They’ll just take up where the previous devious bastards left off.
Can we ever win?