Well, kinda both.

Dr. Phil often asks his guests this question. It usually shows the person the question is pointed at that s/he is holding on to views/attitudes/opinions that are not helping the relationship at all or is actually leading it to doom. And also usually, in the end, everyone agrees that they’d rather be happy than right.

Being right just feels soooo good. I’m right and you’re so wrong. I can feel righteous, vindicated, I can kick you when you’re down (since you are so dead wrong about everything) – there’s no feeling like that.

I know the feeling doesn’t probably last or even carry very far, but for a while it is just the best!

I understand the sentiment behind the question, and the logic, but still I think I can and should be able to be both.
I should be able to be right and happy. All it requires is that you, the opponent, give in and admit that I am right. Then we can both be happy. Or at least I can be.

I think it’s kind of unfair that I should have to choose – right or happy, happy or right.
I mean, in a relationship the most important thing is that I can be happy, and get to be right, always.

Is that too much to ask?

If being happy means you have to give in to the other persons (even stupid) idea/attitude/point of view – is it worth it?
I suppose, if the relationship is worth it.

But does it mean that if you have to choose between being happy OR being right, you’re selling yourself short, giving up on some of your beliefs/views just to be happy (with him/her)?
Should something like that part of a relationship dynamic?
Or does it just mean that you can’t have it all and if you want to have a good relationship, be happy and prosper, you have to let go of something?

If it’s something that I’m wrong about, that’s no loss. But if it’s something I’m right about… well then… think again!

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