One frequently asked question that I get comes from a need to know how to be sure if someone likes or doesn’t like. “Does s/he like me? Is s/he interested in me”?
Usually the question is actually meant for psychics or clairvoyants, but what is interesting is that so many people rather ask total stranger (me) if a person they might be interested in could actually reciprocate the feeling.
How the heck could I know.. not being a psychic, fortune-teller or clairvoyant?!
It seems very difficult for people to actually do something about this themselves.
I know, asking outright is probably out of the question – what’s more horrifying and humiliating than mustering all your energy and courage and ask someone if they’d be interested in maybe meeting for a cup of coffee/tea/coke (the legal kind) and getting a flat no as an answer? Or a chuckle, laughter, smirk or horrified look accompanied with a “sure, when hell freezes over!”
Well, in real life (but including the virtual ways of communicating for this exercise) the way it goes is that if you want to have an answer, you have to ask a question.
People for the most part aren’t psychics and they don’t know what’s going on in our mind. Telepaths are also still probably a few generations away, so until then you just have to roll the dice, ask and see what happens.
What’s the worst that can happen?
Yeah; s/he laughs in your face, shouts out “look what this idiot schmuck just did!” and emails/tweets/Facebooks/Instagrams you and your stupid suggestion to her/his nearest 6243 friends, relatives and hairdressers.
But so what?
Even if it feels like it, the world doesn’t actually come to an end. All you did was asking someone if they’d be interested in talking to you a bit more – you didn’t ask for their firstborn, loads of money or company car.
So s/he wasn’t interested, now you know. Remember: interesting people are like buses – a new one will come around the corner any minute. You might catch the next one.
Although it might be very frightening to do, making sure what the lay of the land is the only way forward.
Magazines and the web are filled with “X Sure Signs That S/He is interested” stuff. And sure, many signs may indicate that your approach will not be met with a cold shoulder.
But in the end, you have to make sure. You have to somehow ask it: is there something here?
Because worse than getting a NO for an answer, is to let the possibility slide and miss out on a possibly good or even excellent thing. If you don’t make sure, you’ll never know.
So, instead of asking me for clairvoyance on these things, shutting up for good, hating mankind in general, barricading yourself in your basement, or talking about it with anyone but the person concerned, muster up your courage and ask.
You see, there is always the danger that s/he might say yes and confess to being interested in you. What a dangerous outcome!!