Cheating husband

Question: “I think that my husband is having an a affair .  He is always on line on sex sites and going to dating while married sites also.  what should I do? Red”


Hot Potatoe: Hmm.. you don’t give me much to work with here..

Many men visit porn/sex sites even if they are happily in a relationship, that’s not necessarily any indication of possible cheating. Sexual interests vary and many men like to get additional stimulus from websites.
But the more (maybe) worrying thing is the dating sites. If he’s married, why should he see the need to check available women..?
One issue you need to consider: what constitutes cheating for you? Looking at other women? Talking to other women? Kissing them, having sex with them?

These things vary also a lot: for some people it’s okay if the spouse for example talks on-line with women, as long as that’s all that happens.
You have figure out what is okay for you and how you would want your husband to behave.

You have a few choices:
1. Ignore it all. Trust him to do as he sees fit – maybe he’s just innocently spending time on these sites.
2. Confront him – meaning TALK to him about it. Ask him why he has the need to go on dating sites at all, being married. He may be able to explain why he does it, and you then have to believe to either trust his explanation or not.
3. You can gather evidence of his possible infidelity: check browser history to see on which sites he’s been.
4. You can also do the partly illegal stuff: check his mobile and e-mail, try to do some surveillance when he’s leaving the house etc. This may be time and energy consuming and it might prove that you’re right, or wrong.

Start by deciding what you want to do with your life and relationship. Often the suspicions one has might be right on the spot. Think carefully what you would do if you find out that he has cheated you. Would you forgive, stay together, or leave? Would you kick him out, or leave yourself? Do you want a divorce or would you want to do some couples counselling?
Remember, you need to decide what kind of a life you’d want to lead and take it from there. Do you want to know or not? If not, forget all this. If yes, start taking steps to find out.

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