Where did the love go?

Question: well its hard to say… there was this guy i really like and i thought he like me the same way.. i even moved with him to a nothere state or arizona from washington state. i thought thing were going to happen with us but nothing.. we live with his mom is that why he acts different around me. i feel like im losing my best friend… laura


Hot Potatoe: Hi Laura. You don’t tell much of the background of your relationship and how long you’ve known each other, so my comments/advice will be based on the little I can guess 🙂

How did your relationship start and develop? On the net or meeting in person? Did you know each other for a longer period before you moved in together?

If your “courtship” was short, you probably haven’t learned to know each other that well. You both might have baggage that you carry into this current relationship that you’re not even aware of. Have you gotten to know each other properly: talked, talked and talked about yourselves, your needs, wants, hopes, desires, things you want in life, things that you can not accept etc. ?
Living with his mother may or may not be a problem – you’re the only one who can say if it affects your relationship. Of course every relationship needs its private time, so hopefully you can spend time just the two of you, learning to know each other.

There is the scaring possibility of course that he’s not into you anymore, for whatever the reason (maybe you two jumped into a relationship too fast, maybe he’s seen some sides of you he doesn’t like, maybe he has interests elsewhere..). Or, maybe he has some personal issues he needs to deal with, that have nothing to do with you.

In ANY case, the only way for you to find out what is possibly wrong, and maybe try to do something about it, is that you two TALK. And you have to do it in a quiet setting, alone, no distractions. And that you have plenty of time to use for the discussion, so not in the morning when you’re rushing of too work or late at night when you’re completely and utterly exhausted.
And one good rule that always applies to discussions of this kind: don’t start with “why YOU never blaa blaa”, instead use the “I-word”: “I feel like you have been distant lately…”. That way you might actually get an answer out of him 🙂
Good luck!

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