Question: “I recently discovered that my live in boyfriend is flirting on the net. He has cheated on me before when our son was 10 months, that was about 7 years ago. He has been “chatting” with a person, who is in the same town, and never told me about it; he has admitted he talks to her in a way he would never talk to me. He says its innocent and doesn’t it consider it cheating on me. I asked if he talk to her in that manner when he runs into her? He said no.
He says that’s just the way he is with other girls. This makes me feel so very insecure with our already shakey relationship. I am trying so hard to trust him even though he says he hasn’t done anything in 7 years. I have asked him to stop. But he seems to be trying to convince me (or himself) that there really is nothing wrong with this relationship on the “net”.

What do you think?

He went hunting for two days. We both have a lot to think about. He: to let this net-girl go? Me: what do i do if he doesn’t? I basically asked him if he doesn’t give it up to consider moving out. But I don’t know if can go through with this. HELP! “

Hot Potatoe: Online-relationships – the new plague on relationships… Is he or isn’t he.. cheating? What is cheating? For someone it is just that he/she talks to another person, for someone it’s a kiss, for some only sex counts..

In your situation it seems that your foundations were shaked pretty badly seven years ago and it affected a real blow on your self-esteem. The problem is that nothing he says or does can convince you to trust him or to believe him – that has to come from within you. You have to listen to yourself, your feelings and thought and TRUST them.

It’s also you who has to decide what is “cheating” for you and what makes you feel uncomfortable – that should then be his cue to keep on/quit chatting.

If you two want to stay together, you have to decide together what goes and what not. You both should be considerate of your (and his) feelings – what hurts the other person can not be right… right?

One important thing for you to do is to start building your self-image stronger – you are just as good as anyone else and your feelings and thought matter just as much.

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