Single and sex

Question: “My friends and I have been thinking this a lot.
When you don’t have the “right one” or even the less right one (and not necessarily even looking), but you want to enjoy sex, what to do?

In the bars you can find almost anything, but it’s a bit tiresome and also risky to go and get a new one every time you want some. Some of us have experience in so called “sex-only relationships (fuckbuddies)”, which means being together only for the physical closeness. For some strange reason all these relationship are doomed to fail. Usually, when either one falls in love with the other person or maybe jealousy or possessiveness steps in. Is having a fuckbuddy a completely impossible thing?

I would now have an opportunity myself, but I’m not sure what to do. I like the man physically, but he’s not dating material. And me neither at the moment. A humble thanks for your advice. ‘Wild thing’”

Hot Potatoe: Most men would be confused about your question: what was the problem again? 😉

The problem is, as you accurately put it: one of the partners gets emotionally involved. For some reason humans are built that way, that sooner or later they want to be close to someone also mentally.

Fuckbuddies are sought these days through the Internet and in the newspapers, why not try those? You may have tried the bars already and don’t feel it’s your thing. Put in an ad telling what you’re looking for or find an ad that speaks to you.Check out the applicant and test him – if it doesn’t work, look for a new one.

You can also get your friends and their friends to help you find a suitable candidate – at least then you might have some guarantee of the quality.

A problem will be that sooner or later either one of you will commit him/herself emotionally into the relationship and after that the whole thing isn’t working anymore.

To avoid this, there are two possible solutions:

1. You only meet your fuckbuddy occasionally, e.g. one a month. Closeness, spending time together and doing things together increase the risk of getting to know the other person better and therefore get interested in him/her which leads to infatuation.. or

2. You make a deal that even if the relationship would function well, you end it after a certain period of time to avoid getting emotionally too involved.

If you already have a candidate fulfilling your criteria’s, you can suggest a relationship for a limited period of time – although you might end up in a relationship that functions extremely well and you can’t stop it and then one of you falls in love..Good luck..

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